When I read that line by Julie Klam, an American author best known for her bestselling dog memoirs You Had Me At Woof: How Dogs Taught Me The Secrets of Happiness and Love at First Bark: How Saving a Dog Can Sometimes Help You Save Yourself, I felt bad for the husband.
The nice thing about husbands is that, if you have a good one, they can tell you when you’re barking mad in addition to making you happy, asking you to rub their furry tummies, and following you obediently through the aisles of Wal-Mart.
They dont just talk. They think. Dogs dont know when youre being a narcissistic idiot. When you enter the room, they will still wag their tails. Theyll hang on your every gesture. They are unaware that you are in a strange and desperate situation, pleading for someone’s reliance. They arent aware when theyve become baby surrogates. No matter how much you’d like to believe otherwise, they can’t stop you from thinking and tell you, “Listen, darling, I’m not an honorary human.” That we all understand what d-o-g written backwards doesn’t necessarily indicate that I have spiritual wisdom. I am a dog. Get it? I pee on fire hydrants, not in toilets. I eat garbage. I sniff crotches. I am unaware of my own flatulence. “.
What, you didn’t realize that we were living in a dogmaniac age and assumed that “pawtisseries,” which are specialty pet bakeries, and all the pricey dog accessories were just adorable displays of people’s disposable income? Maybe they are, to some extent. But when does our society’s obsession with all things canine turn into what John Homans, a writer for New York Magazine, called an “interspecial neurotic interchange”?
(Cesar Milan, the self-styled Dog Whisperer, once told me that dogs can help solve economic problems and bring about world peace in addition to being a helpful guide to happiness, love, and effective prayer. ).
Undoubtedly, dogs have always had a special place in people’s hearts. Numerous famous authors, including Rudyard Kipling and Robert Frost, have written enough odes to their beloved pets to attest to that. And it’s true that many dog writers make fun of their obsession with dogs in a lovingly silly way, as if they realize it’s a bit over the top and as silly as a golden retriever diving headfirst into a lake. And they dont care. What’s wrong with celebrating something that is a straightforward source of joy when the world is complicated and frequently cruel?
Many dog lovers try to keep themselves on a leash, no matter how long it is, cannily – caninely? They smuggle in a reference to the value of human family members as well, so as to avoid veering dangerously close to Leona Helmsley-esque misanthropy. (Remember The Queen of Mean, who oppressed her human subjects while leaving Trouble, her dog, a $12 million trust fund?)
When I caught up with Ms. When I spoke with Klam on the phone in California while she was on a book tour, I wasn’t sure how to react when she revealed that she has learned some of the most important lessons about happiness from dogs. “One is the way they let go of something. She claimed that since dogs are “higher beings,” which is why they only live a short time, they don’t harbor resentments. “They look for the good in things. They look for the treats. They look to be close with you. “.
James Serpell is a professor of animal welfare and the director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Interaction of Animals and Society. Having spent 30 years researching animal-human interactions, he views dogs as “non-human social support providers.” “.
His take? Its all about the changes in human society. He says that before rapid urbanization, people had a rural mindset that viewed animals as useful and practical. But as people migrated to cities, these attitudes vanished, which allowed for an anthropomorphizing view of animals. “.
The breakdown of close-knit human relationships is another issue, as evidenced by divorce, low birth rates, and isolation. “Animals have stepped into the breach and filled the gap. He cites research demonstrating how a dog’s company – and that soulful gaze – raises an owner’s oxytocin level, reduces stress, and aids in healing.
Was it cruel of me to speculate that we might experience the dystopia P describes? D. Which is not to say I’m anti-pets, but in James’ Children of Men, a future world where no children have been born for 25 years and divorced couples fight over custody of the cats, I’ve previously owned cherished dogs, feral cats, and hamsters. Just because I’ve always been upfront about who is in charge.
There are so many aspects of people’s lives they cannot change or improve, but there is one thing you can do,” Ms. Despite the country’s economic woes, Klam noted as she spoke about her work in animal rescue, people continue to spoil their dogs with toys and treats. “You have the power to change this animal’s life, and the emotional benefits are immeasurable.” “.
She volunteered that she sees the parallel to modern parenting. In contrast to the be-seen-and-not-heard generation of parents, we are aware of what dogs are feeling in the same way that we consider what children are feeling. “.
She then concluded our discussion by relating a tale about her aunt, who spotted a spider in her apartment.
She speculated that perhaps she could have knitted it a small sweater or something. She might have felt content, useful, caring, and like a fully realized human after that.
Some people treat their dogs more like family members than pets, acting as substitutes for the children or spouses they don’t have or don’t get along with. These owners spoil their dog with all the toys, food, activities, and affection that they would typically give to children. However, the dogs don’t respond, partake in basement drinking and drug use, or point out our errors and stupidity. Contrary to partner or victim love, the dog can occasionally stand in for a person in surrogate love. Advertisement Advertisement Advertisement.
And Jane, who I’ve known for years, is a retired computer programmer who recently sold her suburban Boston home and relocated to a ranch house on five acres in upstate New York with her seven golden retrievers. All of the dogs were rescued dogs who had cancer, heart disease, or bone disease. “I want to spend the rest of my life with these dogs,” she declares. I want to look after them and bring them joy. I’ve been let down by people a lot in my life, but never by my dogs. ”.
Dog rescuers—the tens of thousands of mostly female individuals who scour animal shelters for stray canines—see a lot of ugly human behavior and its effects, sometimes too much. One of the strongest human-animal attachments is that formed between rescued dogs and those who care for and adopt them. This love frequently draws on the owner’s own resentment, traumatic past, and sense of victimization—as well as her need to both nurture and heal and be nurtured and healed by others.
This winter and spring, I’ve been residing on a farm with my border collies. There have been times when I, too, have felt that love beyond words, pure and powerful—I recall one bitter, dark winter night when the dogs and I cuddled up in front of a wood stove while the wind howled outside. Advertisement Advertisement.
Therefore, from a young age, many of us have experienced this yearning. What begins as a potent, comforting fantasy later ripens. With our dogs by our sides, we are no longer alone or lonely and discover “faithful love and unswerving devotion.” We believe we understand each other completely, whether this is true or not, and there is no doubt that we speak a secret language. Our love goes beyond the words we have. We finally find our intimate and beloved companions.
One size does not fit all, as usual, but many dog-first individuals don’t require fixing. Rather they could use validation. That is this post’s purpose.
Such individuals, it is argued, are unable to interact with people, so they concentrate on their dog. These critics contend that dog owners should place a greater emphasis on developing their interpersonal skills, overcoming their fear of people, and overcoming their narcissism rather than on their four-legged companion.
Some claim that people who spend a lot of time with their dog, hugging, playing, and even saying they prefer dogs to people, have a problem.
For instance, Alex, a commenter on my article People Who Prefer Dogs to Humans, wrote:
Recent Mayo Clinic research reports that, on average, owners sleep efficiency doesnt decline if the dog sleeps in the owners bedroom and only modestly if in the bed. Id imagine this varies with how deeply you and the dog sleep.
Many dog lovers try to keep themselves on a leash, no matter how long it is, cannily – caninely? They smuggle in a reference to the value of human family members as well, so as to avoid veering dangerously close to Leona Helmsley-esque misanthropy. (Remember The Queen of Mean, who oppressed her human subjects while leaving Trouble, her dog, a $12 million trust fund?)
They dont just talk. They think. Dogs dont know when youre being a narcissistic idiot. When you enter the room, they will still wag their tails. Theyll hang on your every gesture. They are unaware that you are in a strange and desperate situation, pleading for someone’s reliance. They arent aware when theyve become baby surrogates. No matter how much you’d like to believe otherwise, they can’t stop you from thinking and tell you, “Listen, darling, I’m not an honorary human.” That we all understand what d-o-g written backwards doesn’t necessarily indicate that I have spiritual wisdom. I am a dog. Get it? I pee on fire hydrants, not in toilets. I eat garbage. I sniff crotches. I am unaware of my own flatulence. “.
The breakdown of close-knit human relationships is another issue, as evidenced by divorce, low birth rates, and isolation. “Animals have stepped into the breach and filled the gap. He cites research demonstrating how a dog’s company – and that soulful gaze – raises an owner’s oxytocin level, reduces stress, and aids in healing.
There are so many aspects of people’s lives they cannot change or improve, but there is one thing you can do,” Ms. Despite the country’s economic woes, Klam noted as she spoke about her work in animal rescue, people continue to spoil their dogs with toys and treats. “You have the power to change this animal’s life, and the emotional benefits are immeasurable.” “.
James Serpell is a professor of animal welfare and the director of the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Interaction of Animals and Society. Having spent 30 years researching animal-human interactions, he views dogs as “non-human social support providers.” “.
FAQ
Is it OK to love your dog too much?
Yes, you can love your dog too much. You must consider the relationship between behavior and love in order to fully comprehend this. One fundamental tenet of behavior is that people and animals, including dogs, will repeat actions that result in rewards and refrain from repeating actions that do not.
Can you be too attached to your dog?
Being attached to our pets is not unhealthy, unless it becomes unreasonable, hinders our ability to interact with others, or interferes with our ability to go about our daily lives. Despite how wonderful it is, a pet’s love cannot fully replace human companionship.
Can dogs feel how much you love them?
According to Dr. According to canine cognition expert Brian Hare, our dogs are aware of our love for them. Humans and dogs are able to create a unique neural connection. The same human oxytocin bonding pathway that parents and infants use is involved in this connection.
Why do I love my dog much?
Here’s my best guess: Dogs get us coming and going. They elicit the same deep love and nurturing that we do for our own children, and they also provide us with the parental love that we all need and desire. In other words, they completely encircle us with everything our families will ever need to provide for us.