How do I know what my dog is thinking and do dogs hold grudges are two questions I am commonly asked. Feeling ill will or resentment from being insulted or hurt is called a grudge. Humans display strong feelings of anger and dislike for people who treat them poorly, but what about dogs? If they are hurt, do they harbor anger, resentment, and negative feelings in their canine psyche?
Yes, in some capacity, dogs remember something negative that caused them harm. Dogs growl at certain people, wag for others, and snarl at a dog who barked at them one time on a walk. Does it mean dogs hold a grudge? Not necessarily, but our canine friends do host a full range of emotions that keep cognitive researchers busy.
Dogs seem to live in the moment, and science supports this notion to a certain degree. Dogs don’t seem angry or give you the cold shoulder for leaving them alone all day. They celebrate your return as if you are royalty. In their eyes, you are a king or queen.
Whether dogs hold a grudge against people or other animals is a mystery, but behavioral research helps. Alexandra Horowitz, head of the Dog Cognition Lab in California, says the inability to read dogs’ emotions likely begins with our inability to understand our own emotions well. She feels humans grant dogs emotions but only of the human sort. Here’s what I learned about grudges, dogs, and the reality of it all.
Have you ever lost your temper with your furry friend and immediately regretted it? Maybe you’re wondering if your dog remembers that moment when you hit them out of frustration This question touches on both canine memory capabilities and the ethical considerations of how we treat our four-legged companions,
As a dog owner myself, I’ve had moments where I’ve raised my voice more than I should have, and the guilty look in my pup’s eyes made me wonder: do they actually remember these negative interactions? Let’s dive into the science of canine memory and what happens when physical punishment enters the human-dog relationship.
How Dogs Remember: Understanding Canine Memory Types
Dogs process memories differently than humans do. Their memory system can be broken down into several types:
Short-Term Memory
Dogs have relatively limited short-term memory capabilities
- Typically lasts up to two minutes
- Larger dogs may have slightly better short-term memory than smaller ones
- This explains why scolding a dog long after an incident is ineffective – they’ve likely already forgotten what they did wrong!
When you hit a dog, they might not remember the specific incident for very long in their short-term memory. However, this doesn’t mean the experience doesn’t affect them in other ways.
Long-Term Memory
Research has shown dogs possess more impressive long-term memory capabilities than previously thought:
- A Hungarian study from 2016 demonstrated that dogs have episodic memory
- Dogs could remember and imitate their owner’s actions even after an hour had passed
- This suggests dogs can recall specific events from their past
Associative Memory
This is where things get interesting when discussing physical punishment. Dogs excel at associative memory:
- They link specific stimuli (sounds, smells, sights) with particular outcomes
- Dogs can form strong and lasting associative memories
- They associate specific contexts with emotional experiences
For example, if your dog has surgery, they might forever associate the vet’s office smell with that negative experience. Similarly, if you hit your dog in certain situations, they may form powerful negative associations.
Do Dogs Remember Being Hit?
The short answer is: yes, but in their own way.
While a dog might not remember the specific incident of being hit in the same way humans recall memories, they absolutely form associations between:
- The person who hit them
- The circumstances surrounding the incident
- The emotional response they experienced
Through associative memory, if you hit your dog more than once in similar contexts, they may begin connecting these negative experiences with you or that particular situation. This is why dogs who have been mistreated often display fear responses to specific triggers associated with their past trauma.
A dog subjected to repeated physical punishment might:
- Cower when you raise your hand
- Hide when you show signs of anger
- Become defensive in situations similar to when they were hit previously
The Impact of Physical Punishment on Dogs
Immediate Effects
When a dog experiences being hit, several immediate reactions typically occur:
- Fear and stress: The dog may cower, tuck their tail, or try to escape
- Confusion: Dogs often don’t understand why they’re being punished
- Defensive behaviors: Some dogs may respond with submissive urination or even aggression
Long-Term Consequences
The lasting impact of physical punishment can be profound:
Damage to the Human-Dog Bond
- Erosion of trust between you and your dog
- Dog becoming wary of your movements or intentions
- Development of anxiety around interactions with you
Behavioral Issues
- Increased fearfulness or anxiety
- Development of aggressive behaviors
- Destructive tendencies when alone
- Difficulty with training and following commands
One particularly troubling outcome is that hitting dogs doesn’t actually teach them what behavior you want – it only teaches them to fear you or the situation. This fear can manifest in ways that look like “better behavior” but are actually symptoms of a damaged relationship.
Can Dogs Forgive You After Being Hit?
Dogs are remarkably resilient and forgiving animals. Most dogs have a strong desire to maintain positive relationships with their human family members. That said, true “forgiveness” as humans understand it may not be exactly what’s happening.
What looks like forgiveness might actually be:
- The dog’s short-term memory limitations
- Their social nature and dependence on humans
- Their adaptability to changing circumstances
Even if dogs can’t “forgive” in the human sense, they can certainly rebuild trust and form positive associations again after negative experiences. However, this depends on:
- The severity and frequency of the physical punishment
- The dog’s individual temperament and resilience
- The quality of care and positive interactions that follow
Rebuilding Trust After Physical Punishment
If you’ve hit your dog and regret it, here are steps to repair your relationship:
1. Commit to More Positive Methods
The most important step is committing to never use physical punishment again. Instead:
- Learn about positive reinforcement training
- Use reward-based methods to encourage good behavior
- Practice patience and consistency
2. Recognize Signs of Fear or Anxiety
Be attentive to your dog’s body language that might indicate lingering effects:
- Avoidance behaviors
- Flinching when you raise your hand
- Excessive submissiveness
- Hiding or cowering
3. Take Intentional Steps to Rebuild Trust
- Move slowly around your dog
- Speak in calm, gentle tones
- Let your dog approach you on their terms
- Create positive associations through treats, play, and affection
4. Engage in Bonding Activities
- Go for regular walks together
- Play interactive games your dog enjoys
- Practice reward-based training sessions
- Spend quality time just being present with your dog
Effective Alternatives to Physical Punishment
Instead of hitting, try these more effective and humane approaches:
Positive Reinforcement Techniques
- Reward-based training: Use treats, praise, or toys to reward desired behaviors
- Clicker training: Mark the exact moment of good behavior with a click followed by a reward
- Consistency: Ensure all family members use the same commands and expectations
Address Root Causes of Misbehavior
Often, unwanted behaviors stem from:
- Insufficient exercise
- Lack of mental stimulation
- Inadequate socialization
- Anxiety or fear
- Medical issues
By addressing these underlying needs, many behavioral problems resolve without punishment.
Why Dogs Need Compassionate Handling
Dogs depend on us completely for their wellbeing. When we bring them into our homes, we take on the responsibility to treat them with kindness and understanding.
Physical punishment:
- Damages trust
- Creates fear
- Doesn’t effectively communicate what behavior is desired
- Can lead to aggression or other problem behaviors
- Harms the unique bond between humans and dogs
In contrast, compassionate training:
- Builds mutual respect
- Creates clear communication
- Strengthens your bond
- Results in a happier, more confident dog
- Produces better behavioral outcomes
Final Thoughts
Yes, dogs do remember being hit – not necessarily as a specific memory but through powerful emotional and associative processes. These memories can significantly impact their behavior and wellbeing.
The good news is that dogs are incredibly resilient and responsive to positive treatment. By understanding how your dog thinks and learns, you can build a relationship based on trust rather than fear.
Remember that frustration is natural when dealing with challenging dog behaviors, but there are always more effective and humane ways to address issues than physical punishment. When we treat our dogs with patience and understanding, we honor the special bond that has evolved between our species over thousands of years.
If you’ve made mistakes in the past, don’t dwell on guilt – instead, focus on moving forward with more positive methods. Your dog will likely respond well to this change, demonstrating once again why these animals truly deserve their title as “man’s best friend.”
Have you ever had to rebuild trust with your dog? What methods worked best for you? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below!
How Do I Tell My Dog I’m Sorry?
If you accidentally harmed your dog, first forgive yourself. Tell your mind a different story than the one it is currently reading.
Start by writing down all the awesome things you do for and with your dog. This can include everything from going on walks to taking a trip together, to making sure he is well-fed, loved, etc. Make that list. Refer to it every time you feel guilty. Every single time.
You need to let it go because otherwise, it will eat you up and take time away from the bond you share with your dog. Here’s a quote you can tell yourself: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes
Do something good with your dog that makes you (and your pup) feel wonderful! Go for ice cream, play at the park, give him a tummy rub, get a new toy and play a game. Whatever it takes, re-program your brain.
Will Dogs Forgive You If You Accidentally Hurt Them?
There’s an updated spin on an old quote that goes, “To err is human, to forgive is canine.” Of course, dogs have emotions and feelings. Science has proven this.
“Look at it adaptively: emotions are messaging to the muscles and response system to circumvent the closed-door discussions between the sensory organs and brain,” Horowitz writes in her book, Our Dogs, Ourselves. “I see a tiger; I know that tigers are predators and this one is coming toward me . . . and Hey!, chimes the brain emotively, Be afraid! Run!”
According to Horowitz, dogs have emotions, but humans aren’t the most astute at distinguishing the different behaviors and postures dogs tell us about their internal states. I concur.
Yes, dogs remember things. Dogs harness a powerful, complex, deep range of emotions. If you are a loving person who makes a mistake that ends up harming your dog in some way, forgive yourself. Harboring guilt and dubbing yourself a bad person helps no one. So don’t do it. Great dog parents sometimes do really crappy things by accident: It’s called being a human being.
3 Signs Your Dog Is Happy!!! #shorts #puppy #dog
FAQ
Do dogs remember if you hit them once?
A dog is unlikely to remember if you hit them once. However, they can remember intense sensations or ongoing actions through associative memory. It appears that dogs may remember more than we realize, but they easily forget one-off events.
Do dogs have memory?
Dogs do remember because they don’t easily forget their human friends and other pets. Therefore, dogs possess both long and short term memory. Short-term memory allows dogs to remember specific events, but these memories will be forgotten after approximately 10 or 20 seconds.
Can a dog remember a specific event?
Although a dog might not remember a specific event, he can associate any gesture, movement, voice, and smell with an emotion. For instance, even if you haven’t seen your dog for years, he will recognize you from afar and greet you as if you just came home from work.
Do dogs remember their owner’s scent?
Dogs have strong and long-lasting associative memories, as shown in a study where a dog could associate their owner’s remaining scent level with the time that they would return home. ( source )
Will my dog’s memory be affected if I hit them?
The passage does not directly answer the question about hitting a dog and its memory. However, it states that the stronger the relationship is between a dog and its owner, the quicker any negative experience will be forgotten by the dog as long as the owner exhibits calm and positive energy.
How long does it take a dog to forget something?
Dogs have a short memory when it comes to negative experiences, especially if the relationship with their owner is strong. If you do not habitually abuse your dog or use excessive force, the dog is unlikely to remember the incident beyond two days, and possibly even within two minutes.
How do you apologize to your dog after hitting them?
What does your dog feel when you hit them?
Your dog is a sentient being, which means he feels pain and perceives threats. Never hit your dog as a method of discipline. You will end up with a dog that will bite out of fear.
Does my dog understand when I hit him?
They will know that being hit is a bad experience and that it hurts, but they won’t know that the action is all on you. Do your best to reassure them in the future that you love them. Dogs simply don’t understand the concept of forgiveness, but they’re very good at it all the same.Jun 4, 2024