Learning to be left alone is an important part of your dogs training and will help prevent your dog from becoming anxious when theyre left by themselves.
So if youve recently welcomed a dog or puppy into your family, its really important to show them that being left at home is nothing to worry about.
Read on to discover how to prepare your dog and teach them that its OK to be left alone.
Have you ever come home to find your favorite shoes chewed up or neighbors complaining about your dog’s incessant barking while you were away? If so, you’re not alone! Teaching your furry friend to be comfortable when left by themselves is one of the most important skills they need to learn.
As a dog owner myself, I’ve dealt with the guilt-ridden goodbyes and worried about leaving my pups home alone. But I’ve discovered that with the right approach, most dogs can learn to be perfectly content on their own for reasonable periods.
Why Teaching Your Dog to Be Alone Matters
Dogs are naturally social creatures who love being part of the pack (that’s you!) Unfortunately, we can’t take them everywhere, and at some point, every dog needs to spend time alone
Research from the RSPCA suggests that eight out of ten dogs actually find it difficult to cope when left alone. What’s even more concerning is that half of these dogs won’t show obvious signs of distress, making it easy for owners to miss.
If your dog never learns how to stay calm when home alone, they might develop separation anxiety—a condition that’s much harder to treat than prevent.
Signs Your Dog Might Be Struggling When Left Alone
Before diving into solutions let’s make sure you can recognize if your dog is having trouble. Signs may include
- Barking or howling
- Destructive behavior (chewing furniture, scratching doors)
- Toileting indoors despite being house-trained
- Pacing
- Trembling
- Excessive panting
- Lip-licking
- Yawning (when not tired)
- Excessive drooling
It’s actually a good idea to video your dog when they’re alone occasionally to check for hidden signs of distress.
How Long Can Dogs Be Left Alone?
While individual needs vary, most experts recommend not leaving your dog alone for more than four hours at a time. This ensures they have opportunities to:
- Exercise
- Go to the toilet
- Spend time with people
For puppies and dogs still learning, you’ll need to start with much shorter periods and build up gradually.
Step-by-Step Guide to Teaching Your Dog to Be Alone
1. Create a Safe, Comfortable Space
What you’ll need:
- A crate or pen (if crate training)
- Comfortable bedding
- Favorite toys
- Something that smells like you (an old t-shirt works great)
Why this works: Having their own cozy area helps dogs feel secure when alone. Many properly crate-trained dogs actually feel more relaxed in their crate—it’s like their personal sanctuary!
For puppies still working on potty training, setting up a “Puppy Zone” with a pen is a great option. You could also:
- Use a pheromone diffuser near their area
- Play calming music or white noise to mask outdoor sounds
- Leave DogTV on for visual enrichment
2. Start Small with Separation Practice
I’ve found this to be the most important step. You need to build up your dog’s “alone time muscles” gradually:
- Begin by encouraging your dog to go to their bed and stay there with you present. Reward them for remaining calm.
- Next, ask them to stay in their bed while you move away, then return and reward.
- Move progressively further away for longer periods.
- Start going out through the door before returning, then going out and shutting the door, then extending the time away.
- Vary the length of time you’re gone to prevent your dog from predicting exactly when you’ll return.
Pro tip: The speed you progress depends entirely on your dog’s comfort level. If they show any signs of anxiety, go back a step and progress more slowly.
3. Create Positive Associations with Your Absence
This technique (called counterconditioning) helps your dog learn that your absence actually predicts good things:
- When getting ready to leave, give your dog a special treat they only get when you’re gone
- Stuffed Kongs or food puzzles work great as they keep your dog occupied
- When you return, calmly remove the special toy and put it away until next time
Real talk: My Corgis now actually get excited when they see me grab my keys because they know it means they’ll get their special frozen Kongs!
4. Practice Your Departure Routine
Dogs are incredibly perceptive and quickly learn the signs that you’re about to leave:
- Start by simply putting on your shoes, grabbing your keys or purse, and touching the doorknob without actually leaving
- Next, open the door, step outside, close it, and immediately return
- Gradually increase the time before coming back
This process (systematic desensitization) teaches your dog that the things you do before leaving and your actual departure aren’t a big deal.
5. Keep Departures and Arrivals Low-Key
This was game-changing for me! Don’t make a huge fuss when leaving or returning:
When leaving:
- Stay calm and relaxed (dogs pick up on your anxiety!)
- Don’t sneak out, but don’t make it a dramatic goodbye either
- A simple, consistent phrase like “Be good, I’ll be back” can become a reassuring signal
When returning:
- Ignore your dog initially until they calm down
- Once they’ve settled, then greet them calmly
- This prevents over-excited greetings that can actually be a sign of separation issues
6. Provide Plenty of Exercise and Enrichment
A tired dog is generally a well-behaved dog! Before leaving your dog alone:
- Take them for a good walk, returning home about 30 minutes before you leave
- Feed them a small meal
- Ensure they’ve gone to the toilet
- Leave them with a puzzle toy or long-lasting treat
Mental stimulation is just as important as physical exercise. Try these enrichment activities:
- “Sniffari” walks where they get to follow their nose
- Teaching new tricks using positive reinforcement
- Puzzle toys that dispense treats
- Hiding treats around the house for them to find
- Using snuffle mats or puzzle bowls for regular meals
What NOT to Do
-
Never punish your dog for misbehaving while you were gone. They won’t connect your anger with something they did hours ago, and punishment will only increase their anxiety about your return.
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Don’t make homecomings into huge events with lots of excitement. This actually reinforces that separations and reunions are a big deal.
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Avoid leaving your dog alone for too long without arranging for someone to check on them.
When to Seek Professional Help
If your dog is already showing signs of separation anxiety despite your best efforts, don’t wait to get help. A clinical animal behaviorist or certified dog trainer can provide personalized guidance.
This is especially important if your dog is:
- Causing self-injury when left alone
- Extremely destructive
- Getting complaints from neighbors about barking
- Showing signs of panic when you prepare to leave
Real Success Story
When I first got my rescue dog, she would howl the minute I stepped out the door. Using these techniques, particularly the gradual desensitization and special Kong toys, she now happily snoozes when I leave. It took about three weeks of consistent practice, but the transformation was worth it!
Final Thoughts
Remember that learning to be alone is a skill, not something dogs naturally know how to do. Be patient with the process and celebrate small victories along the way.
With consistency, positive reinforcement, and gradually increasing alone time, most dogs can learn to feel secure and relaxed when left at home. The time investment upfront will save both you and your furry friend from stress and anxiety in the long run.
Have you tried any of these techniques with your dog? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below!
Remember: Every dog is different, and some may need more time than others to adjust to being alone. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek professional support from a certified dog trainer or behaviorist.
Learning to be left alone
While some dogs are quite happy to be left alone for short periods, others may become distressed when separated from their owner. In fact research suggests that eight out of 10 dogs find it hard to cope when left alone. Yet, half wont show any obvious signs and so it can be easy for owners to miss. Contrary to popular belief, dogs are not doing this because theyre trying to get ‘revenge’ on their owners for leaving them behind – in most cases, theyre simply distressed about being separated from their owner.
Affected animals may bark, howl, go to the toilet indoors or be destructive when left alone. It may not be obvious that your dog becomes anxious when left alone. You may be completely unaware that your dog has been suffering unless you find evidence of destructive behaviour when you return home, or receive complaints from your neighbours about your dog’s barking.
It’s recommended that all owners try to video their dog when they are left alone from time to time, just to make sure that theyre not showing a ‘hidden’ sign of distress, such as trembling, pacing about or whining.
Separation-related behaviour is a common reason for dogs to be handed over to rescue organisations, but its important to remember that dogs rehomed from rescue centres are no more likely to develop this behaviour than dogs who come from other backgrounds.
There are a number of different reasons why a dog might show this type of behaviour so, if you notice signs that your dog is showing unsettled behaviour, you should talk to a vet who may refer you to a clinical animal behaviourist. A clinical behaviourist will be able to identify the underlying cause of the problem and treat it accordingly.
The length of time a dog can be left alone depends on the individual dog but we advise that they are left for no longer than four hours so they have opportunities to exercise, go to the toilet, and spend time with people. Studies have found that if you gradually introduce your dog to being left alone when they come to live with you, then youre less likely to have a problem later on.
Teaching your dog that it’s alright to be alone
One of the most effective ways of preventing your dog from ever becoming anxious when theyre left alone is to teach them right from the start that being alone is fun! To do this you need to very gradually increase the time that you leave your dog alone so that its never a frightening experience and always associated with something pleasant.
The speed that you progress will depend on your dog’s reaction. Never leave your dog so long that they start to become distressed.
Reward your dog for being relaxed when left alone – rewards can be toys, treats, or praise. A long-lasting treat is ideal as you can tell that your dog is worried if they leave something that theyd normally enjoy munching. If your dog becomes anxious and doesnt remain quietly in their bed eating the treat, dont offer a reward. Instead, simply go back a stage and try leaving them for a shorter period next time.
Repeat each of the following stages until you are sure your dog is happy before progressing. How quickly you progress depends on how well your dog responds.
- Start by encouraging your dog to go to their bed and stay there with you present for a short while. Reward your dog for remaining quietly in their bed.
- Next, ask your dog to stay in their bed as you move away, then return and reward.
- Move progressively further away and for longer. The distance/time that you increase by on each occasion will depend on your dog. If your dog reacts or moves, then don’t reward but go back to the previous stage.
- Start going out through the door before returning, then going out and shutting the door, then going out for longer periods of time. When you get to this point, start to vary the length of time that youre out.
- Once you reach the stage where your dog is happy to be left for up to an hour, you should then have no problems leaving them for longer periods. To avoid boredom, which may lead to mischief, remember to give your dog something to occupy them while youre out!
If you do have to go out and leave your dog for long periods of time as soon as you bring them home, arrange for friends or family to help out for a short while.
Explaining How To Fix Separation Anxiety With Your Dog
FAQ
How long will it take for my dog to get used to being alone?
A good rule of thumb is that it will take around 3 weeks for the pet to start feeling comfortable with the new person being a part of their daily life. Some dogs and even some cats, may enjoy a new person right away, but they will still experience some stress because their routine is being interrupted.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for dog anxiety?
The 3-3-3 rule for dogs is a guideline outlining the typical adjustment period for a rescue dog after adoption, broken into three phases: 3 days of feeling overwhelmed and nervous, 3 weeks of settling into a routine and showing their personality, and 3 months of feeling truly at home, trusting, and bonding with their new family. This rule provides a helpful framework for new owners to set realistic expectations and be patient, as the timeline can vary for each dog.
How do I train my dog to be left alone?