Have you ever tried to snuggle with your spouse only to have your dog wedge themselves between you like some kind of furry chaperone? Or maybe you’ve noticed your normally well-behaved pup suddenly “forgetting” their potty training when your partner is around? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone in wondering: do dogs get jealous of spouses?
As a dog owner for over 15 years, I’ve seen this behavior firsthand and let me tell you – the answer is a resounding YES. Dogs absolutely can get jealous when we show affection to our partners, and understanding this behavior is key to maintaining harmony in your home.
Why Do Dogs Get Jealous of Our Spouses?
Dogs aren’t just pets; they’re pack animals with complex emotions. When they see you hugging kissing, or simply sitting close to your spouse they might interpret this as a threat to their position in the pack hierarchy. Here’s why dogs often develop jealousy toward our partners
- Pack mentality: Dogs are naturally inclined to establish and maintain their place in the family “pack”
- Fear of abandonment: They worry they’ll be replaced or forgotten when you show affection to someone else
- Resource guarding: They see you as a valuable resource (provider of food, walks, and love) to be protected
- Lack of socialization: Dogs who haven’t been properly socialized may struggle with sharing attention
- Insecurity: Some dogs simply lack confidence and need constant reassurance of their place in your life
One dog owner shared with me “My Labrador used to be totally fine with my husband until we got married. Now she literally pushes her body between us whenever we hug. It’s like she’s saying ‘excuse me this human is MINE!'”
7 Clear Signs Your Dog Is Jealous of Your Spouse
Wondering if your dog’s behavior stems from jealousy? Here are the telltale signs to watch for
1. The Dreaded Wedge Maneuver
This is perhaps the most obvious sign – your dog physically inserting themselves between you and your partner whenever you get close. Whether it’s jumping onto the couch to break up cuddle time or squeezing between your legs during a hug, this behavior screams “three’s a crowd!”
2. Suddenly “Forgetting” Their Training
Has your perfectly house-trained dog suddenly started having “accidents” in the house when your spouse is around? This isn’t coincidence. Dogs sometimes resort to inappropriate elimination as a way of expressing displeasure or anxiety about changes in attention.
3. Attention-Seeking Behaviors
When your dog sees you giving attention to your spouse, they might suddenly:
- Start performing tricks without being asked
- Bring you toys
- Whine or bark excessively
- Paw at you persistently
They’re essentially saying, “Look at me! I’m more interesting than them!”
4. Destructive Behavior
Finding your spouse’s shoes chewed up while yours remain untouched? Or maybe their side of the bed gets “redecorated” with dog hair or drool? Selective destruction of your partner’s belongings can be a passive-aggressive way for dogs to express jealousy.
5. The Stink Eye
Dogs may not be able to roll their eyes like teenagers, but they can certainly give what dog behaviorists call “whale eye” – showing the whites of their eyes while staring at your spouse. This look often comes with stiff body language and can indicate discomfort or displeasure.
6. Excessive Grooming or Over-Attachment
Some dogs respond to jealousy by becoming overly clingy with one owner. They might follow you everywhere, groom themselves excessively when feeling anxious, or become visibly distressed when you leave them alone with your spouse.
7. Leaving the Room in Protest
Not all jealous behaviors are confrontational. Some dogs express their feelings by simply removing themselves from the situation, sulking off to another room when you and your partner show affection to each other.
How to Address Your Dog’s Jealousy (Without Sleeping on the Couch)
If your fur baby is giving your human baby the cold shoulder, don’t worry! There are ways to help your dog adjust:
Create Positive Associations
Have your spouse become the giver of all good things. Let them:
- Feed your dog their meals
- Give treats during training sessions
- Take them for walks
- Play their favorite games
This helps your dog see your partner as a source of happiness rather than competition.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Dogs need structure to feel secure. Make sure your pup understands what behaviors are acceptable and which aren’t. If jumping between you and your spouse during cuddle time isn’t allowed, be consistent in redirecting this behavior.
Schedule Special Time for Everyone
Just like with kids, sometimes our dogs just need to know they haven’t been forgotten. Set aside dedicated one-on-one time with your dog each day, but also create opportunities for positive three-way interactions where both you and your spouse engage with the dog together.
Use Positive Reinforcement
When your dog behaves calmly around your spouse or allows physical affection between you two without interrupting, reward them! This could be with treats, praise, or affection of their own.
Don’t Punish Jealousy
Punishing jealous behavior can actually make it worse by increasing your dog’s anxiety. Instead, redirect their attention to appropriate activities and reward good behavior.
Real-Life Examples of Doggy Jealousy
I’ve collected some real stories from fellow dog owners dealing with jealous pups:
“My chihuahua used to be sweet as pie to me when my partner wasn’t around. The second he came home, she turned into a horror – barking, whining for his attention, and growling at me when I gave him a hug. We actually had to sleep separately for a while!” – Rilke
“My husband’s dog growls at me anytime I come back from being out of the home. He’ll even growl at me in the mornings just for talking to my husband before I leave for work. I’m the nicest person to this dog daily, and he still hates me but loves everyone else.” – Jessica
“Our black lab gets so jealous that it’s impossible for us to be close together without her freaking out and pushing between us. When we go to sleep, she wiggles between us and starts kicking my husband in the back to make him leave. It got even worse when I became pregnant!” – Nicole
Is Breed a Factor in Jealousy?
While any dog can show jealous behaviors, some breeds seem more prone to it than others. Dogs bred for close human companionship like Chihuahuas, Shih Tzus, and many toy breeds often develop stronger attachment to one person and may be more likely to display jealousy.
However, even larger breeds like German Shepherds and Labradors can become quite possessive of their favorite humans. The individual dog’s personality and past experiences play a bigger role than breed alone.
When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes doggy jealousy goes beyond annoying and becomes concerning. Consider consulting a professional dog behaviorist if:
- Your dog shows aggressive behavior toward your spouse (growling, snapping, or biting)
- The jealous behaviors are getting worse despite your efforts
- Your dog seems genuinely distressed by your relationship
- The situation is causing significant strain on your marriage
A professional can provide tailored strategies for your specific situation and help everyone live harmoniously together.
The Bright Side of Jealousy
While dealing with a jealous dog can be frustrating, it’s actually a testament to how much they love you. Their desire to monopolize your attention comes from a place of deep attachment – they simply don’t want to share their favorite person!
With patience, consistency, and the right approach, most dogs can learn to accept (and even love) your spouse as part of their pack. Just remember that change takes time, especially for our four-legged friends who don’t understand the concept of marriage.
Final Thoughts: Creating a Harmonious Household
Creating balance in a home with both a spouse and a jealous dog requires understanding, patience, and consistency from everyone involved. Remember that your dog isn’t being “bad” – they’re expressing natural emotions in the only ways they know how.
By recognizing the signs of jealousy and addressing them with compassion rather than frustration, you can help your dog feel secure in their place in your life while still maintaining a healthy relationship with your spouse.
After all, there’s plenty of love to go around, even if your dog hasn’t quite figured that out yet!
Have you experienced jealousy from your dog toward your spouse? What strategies worked for you? Share your experiences in the comments below!
FAQ About Dogs and Jealousy
Can dogs really feel jealousy or are we just anthropomorphizing?
Studies have shown that dogs do experience a basic form of jealousy similar to what human infants feel. It’s not exactly the same as adult human jealousy, but it’s definitely real!
My dog only shows jealousy toward my husband but is fine with other people hugging me. Why?
Your dog likely perceives your husband as a more significant “threat” to their relationship with you because he consistently shares your time and affection.
Will getting another dog help with jealousy issues?
Not necessarily. In some cases, adding another dog can actually increase resource guarding behaviors. Address the current jealousy issues before considering another pet.
How long does it typically take to resolve jealousy issues?
It varies greatly depending on the dog, but most owners see improvement within a few weeks of consistent training. Deep-seated jealousy may take months to fully resolve.
Can jealousy in dogs lead to depression?
Yes, if a dog feels consistently displaced or ignored, they can develop symptoms similar to depression, including lethargy, decreased appetite, and withdrawal from activities they previously enjoyed.
