People make jokes all the time about how their dog runs the household, or “rules the roost”. It’s funny, because we all get it. Our little furbabies can be quite demanding at times, whether it’s intentional or not. But if it is intentional, it’s not a good thing. If your dog thinks he really is the boss, it’s not so funny.
I have a friend, Sherri, who has a 10-pound Chihuahua mix named Harris. He’s the cutest thing, as long as you keep your distance. To try to interact with him is a battle of wills. He wants to dominate. He wants to let you know that he’s in charge from the get-go. He insists on standing in your lap and licking your face. If you try to put him on the ground, he gets right back up. Sherri thinks it’s so cute the way he acts. She says, “Awww, look, he loves you.” No, he doesn’t. He’s trying to make a point. It’s not cute.
The thing is, it’s not his fault. From the very beginning, Sherri babied Harris. She let him do what he wanted to do because she thought she was being a good doggie parent. I understand that she wants Harris to be happy. We all want our dogs to be happy. But giving him carte banche in life isn’t the way to go about it. The more we baby our dogs, the more they believe they are in control of us.
We often talk of the pack structure or pack hierarchy in our blogs. It is an instinctive set of rules for our dogs. We observe the pack structure in-action every day within the play groups at Camp Holiday Barn Pet Resorts. The pack has a social order and each member of the pack has their place within it. All packs have a leader. You will often hear the leader referred to as “alpha”. If there is no leader, the pack becomes confused, anxious and conflicted. In your home, you should be the leader, or the “boss”. In fact, it’s imperative that you take the lead if you want a well-mannered furry family member, instead of a little “Harris”.
How do we know that Harris thinks he’s boss? We mentioned jumping in your lap, uninvited, and licking your face. Jumping in your lap the way Harris demands it is considered dominance. He stands so that he’s making eye contact. He insists on it. Harris’s determined, incessant kisses also indicate more of a dominant intent than affection. There are other ways you can determine if your dog has taken over leadership in your home.
Ever wondered if your furry friend sees you as the boss of the house? The question of whether dogs recognize an “alpha human” is something many dog owners have pondered, I’ve spent countless hours researching this topic and talking with dog owners who want to understand their relationship with their pets better
The Alpha Theory: Outdated but Persistent
According to the information from Not A Bully Dog Training, the whole “alpha dog theory” has actually been debunked by modern science. This theory originated from studies of captive zoo wolves in the mid-1900s by Rudolph Schenkel, who concluded that wolves fight for dominance in a pack.
The theory was later reinforced by wildlife biologist David Mech in the 1960s. However, in 1999, Mech himself published a paper renouncing this idea after studying wolves in their natural habitat. He found that wolf packs in the wild aren’t formed through dominance fights but simply through mating and producing pups.
Despite this scientific correction, many dog owners and some trainers still cling to these outdated concepts.
How Dogs Actually Choose Their Favorite Person
Dogs don’t actually recognize an “alpha” in the traditional sense, but they do tend to form stronger bonds with certain family members. As Not A Bully explains:
“Dogs can have a favorite human based on several factors. In a nutshell, dogs are more likely to choose their favorite person based on positive experiences and positive associations with that person.”
This means the person who feeds, walks, plays with, and generally gives the most positive attention to the dog is likely to become their favorite human. It’s less about dominance and more about forming positive relationships.
Common Myths About “Alpha” Status with Dogs
Let’s bust some common misconceptions about dogs and alpha status:
Myth 1: Your dog should never walk in front of you
Fact: Dogs pull on leashes because they’re excited to explore, not because they’re trying to dominate you. Loose leash walking is a skill that needs to be taught, not a natural understanding of hierarchy.
Myth 2: You should always eat before your dog
Fact: Dogs are scavenging carnivores who get hungry and enjoy food. They’re not sitting there contemplating pack order before eating. While training them to wait for a release cue is useful, it’s about good manners, not hierarchy.
Myth 3: Never let your dog on furniture or your bed
Fact: Dogs just like comfort! Whether you allow your dog on furniture is a personal preference, but it has nothing to do with dominance. In fact, the Mayo Clinic found that people often find comfort and security from sleeping with their pets.
Myth 4: Your dog should always break eye contact first
Fact: Dogs often break eye contact to avoid confrontation, not as a sign of submission. Prolonged staring can be seen as rude or challenging in dog communication.
Myth 5: Your dog should always go through doorways after you
Fact: Dogs rush through doorways because they’re excited, not because they’re asserting dominance. Teaching them to wait is about safety, not hierarchy.
Signs Your Dog Respects You (Not “Alpha” Status)
According to SmallDogGuides, these behaviors might indicate your dog respects you and sees you as a trusted leader:
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Following and Initiating Interaction: If your dog follows you around and initiates interactions, it may show respect and acknowledgment of your leadership.
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Responsive Body Language: Dogs that respect their owners might display certain body language, such as avoiding direct eye contact or showing submissive postures.
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Promptly Responding to Commands: A dog that quickly responds to commands likely views the command-giver as an authority figure.
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Protective Behavior: Dogs that are protective but not overly aggressive may view you as part of their pack.
Establishing a Healthy Relationship With Your Dog
Rather than focusing on being the “alpha,” focus on building a relationship based on mutual respect and trust. Here’s how:
Consistency and Routine
Dogs thrive on predictability. Establishing regular feeding times, walks, and training sessions helps your dog understand what to expect and builds trust.
Positive Reinforcement Training
Use rewards to encourage good behavior instead of punishment for bad behavior. As Not A Bully explains:
“With positive reinforcement methods, the general concept is to reward and reinforce the behavior you want to see more of.”
Clear Boundaries
Set consistent rules and boundaries. This doesn’t mean being harsh or dominant—it means being clear about what behaviors are acceptable.
Meeting Physical and Mental Needs
A well-exercised, mentally stimulated dog is more likely to be calm and responsive. Make sure your dog gets plenty of physical activity and mental enrichment.
Why the Dominance Theory Can Be Harmful
Approaching dog training with a dominance mindset can lead to misinterpretation of behaviors, particularly aggression. According to Not A Bully:
“In dogs, aggressive behavior is most often created from fear, anxiety, confusion, and stress.”
Using aversive techniques based on dominance theory (like alpha rolls) can actually increase fear and potentially lead to aggression rather than reducing it.
What Modern Science Tells Us About Dog Behavior
Current research shows that dogs are sentient beings with emotions. They respond best to humane, science-based training methods rooted in learning theory and operant conditioning.
Dogs don’t think in terms of dominance hierarchies the way outdated theories suggested. They’re companions who want to please us and receive rewards for good behavior.
My Personal Experience
I’ve had dogs all my life, and I’ve seen firsthand how the shift from dominance-based training to positive reinforcement has transformed my relationship with my pets. My current dog, Max, doesn’t obey me because he thinks I’m the “alpha”—he responds to my cues because we’ve built trust, and he knows good things happen when he does.
When I used to believe in the alpha theory, I was always worried about “maintaining my status.” Now, I focus on clear communication and positive interactions, and our relationship is so much stronger.
Final Thoughts
So, do dogs know who the alpha human is? Not in the way traditional dominance theory suggests. Dogs are intelligent animals that form bonds based on positive associations, not on outdated concepts of pack hierarchy.
The best way to build a strong relationship with your dog is through:
- Consistent, positive training
- Clear boundaries
- Meeting their physical and mental needs
- Mutual respect and trust
By focusing on these elements rather than trying to assert dominance, you’ll develop a healthier, happier relationship with your canine companion.
What’s your experience with your dog? Have you noticed them forming stronger bonds with certain family members? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
Signs That You Aren’t the Pack Leader
- Your dog growls at you if you get near his toys or food. This should never be allowed. The fact that your dog is trying to control you – by keeping your away from its possessions – is one of the keys to recognizing that your dog thinks they’re alpha.
- Your dog stares into your eyes and does not turn away. A dog that stares in your eyes is actually considered “rude” in dog world. When intentional, staring is used by dogs as a tool to intimidate and express their position as the leader.
- Your dog claims his spot on the couch or bed, without your permission, and gets snippy if you try to move them. It almost seems like a dare… Fido hops up on your side of the bed and then kind of watches you to see what you’re going to do about it. It’s a challenge. He is letting you know that everything is his.
- Your dog practically knocks you down to enter doorways first. The leader of the pack always enters first.
- Does your dog walk you or do you walk your dog? As a leader, you should decide where you will walk your dog and at what pace. Not the other way around. You should lead, he should walk beside you, follow you, or at a loose leash only slightly ahead of you.
- Marking around your home. If your dog is marking inside the home, he is often asserting his dominance. He is claiming ownership. Marking can also be a sign of stress, anxiety, or illness too. Professional assistance may be needed to help determine the cause.
- He does not obey your commands. If your dog does not respect you as its leader, it is probably the reason he does not obey you. The “boss” doesn’t take orders from its subordinates.
- Mounting humans and other dogs is often, but not always, a problem of dominance. It is not sexual in any way but rather a method of control. If your dog growls or shows other aggressive reactions when corrected, then you are most certainly dealing with a control issue.
- Your dog jumps on you. Realize that sometimes dogs jump on you when they’re happy to see you, like when you get home from work. That’s not “bossy”, it’s an excited greeting. But if your dog tends to jump on you during inappropriate times, or after you have continually corrected him not to jump, it shows a lack of respect for you and is definitely a controlling act.
Do too many of these things ring true with you? Sounds like your dog thinks he’s the boss. We can help you with that.
First, you need to earn your dog’s respect before they will consider you their leader. How do you do it? By letting them know what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Just like a child, we need to teach them right from wrong. We need to set clear boundaries, provide structure, and make sure they know their limitations. It is through this teaching that we gain their trust and loyalty.
Let’s get back to Harris. The truth is, due to the lack of structure and discipline in his life, Harris probably isn’t all that happy. Because Sherri never asserted herself as boss, Harris was “forced” into that position. Harris knew there had to be a leader, because instinctively, every pack needs one in order to survive. Like Harris, when a dog reluctantly assumes the responsibility of leader, he becomes pushy and assertive to prove his status within the family.
You see, dogs don’t really want to be the leader of the pack. That’s a lot of responsibility. A pack leader has to maintain order within the pack and make sure it is safe and protected. As a pack leader, they feel they are virtually responsible for the pack’s very existence! Dogs really prefer that someone else make the decisions and give the orders. Harris just wants Sherri to let him know the rights and wrongs so that he doesn’t have to prove himself all the time. That’s a lot of pressure. He just wants to lay on his bed, chew his bone, and be a dog!
10 Signs Your Dog Considers You The Alpha
FAQ
How long does 1 hour feel to a dog?
How to let a dog know you’re the alpha?
To demonstrate that you are the pack leader for your dog, be a calm, consistent, and confident leader by establishing routines, leading activities like walks and mealtimes, setting clear rules and boundaries, and rewarding positive behaviors like calmness and obedience. Avoid inconsistent signals, aggression, or physical force, as this creates fear and doesn’t build trust or true leadership.
How do dogs decide who is dominant?