How Do I Cope With My Dog Dying? 15 Ways to Navigate the Heartbreaking Journey

Losing a dog isn’t just losing a pet—it’s losing a family member who’s given us unconditional love. The bond we share with our canine companions is special and pure, which makes saying goodbye one of the most painful experiences a pet owner can face.

I’ve been through this heartbreaking journey myself. When my dog Lucky crossed the rainbow bridge earlier this year the grief was overwhelming. Having been part of my life for only three short years his absence left a hole in my heart that seemed impossible to fill.

If you’re reading this, you might be facing this difficult time yourself. Please know that your feelings are valid, your grief is normal, and you’re not alone in this journey.

Understanding When Your Dog is Nearing the End

Before we talk about coping, it’s important to recognize the signs that your dog might be approaching their final days. Being aware of these signs can help you prepare emotionally and make the most of your remaining time together.

Signs Your Dog May Be Nearing Their Last Days:

1. Failing Bowel Control – Your dog may experience reservoir incontinence, making it difficult to control when and where they defecate.

2. Loss of Bladder Control – Urinary incontinence is common in dying dogs You might notice urine dripping without your dog stopping to pee

3. Lethargy – Your once-energetic companion may seem extremely fatigued, with rapidly changing body temperature and weakening muscles.

4. Poor Appetite – A dying dog often refuses food or only accepts certain favorites. They may even refuse water.

5. Loss of Interest – Your dog might stop engaging in activities they once enjoyed, like playing with favorite toys or seeking affection.

6. Labored Breathing – Irregular breathing patterns and quickened heart rate can indicate your dog is struggling.

The more of these signs you notice, the more likely your furry friend is approaching their final days.

15 Ways to Cope With Your Dog Dying

1. Measure the Cost of Medical Interventions

When facing the end of your dog’s life, consider the emotional and physical costs of additional medical interventions—not just the financial aspect. Ask yourself: Will this treatment improve my dog’s quality of life, or am I prolonging their suffering?

2. Use the Quality of Life Scale

Veterinarians often recommend using the HHHHHMM Quality of Life Scale to assess your dog’s wellbeing:

• Hurt – Is your dog in pain?
• Hunger – Is your dog eating normally?
• Hydration – Is your dog drinking enough?
• Hygiene – Can you keep your dog clean?
• Happiness – Does your dog show joy?
• Mobility – Can your dog move comfortably?
• More good days than bad – Is your dog having more good days than bad ones?

This scale can help you make the difficult decision about when it might be time to say goodbye.

3. Show Extra Compassion and Understanding

As your dog’s body fails, they may have accidents or throw up. Remember that this can be humiliating for them—they know it’s not normal and may expect punishment. Be gentle and reassuring, letting them know it’s okay and natural.

Cover furniture with protective materials, use dog diapers or pee pads, but most importantly, don’t let your pet hide alone with feelings of guilt during their final days.

4. Help Your Dog Say Goodbye Too

Your dog is sensitive to your emotions. They might sense something is wrong even before you do. Talk to them gently, explaining what’s happening. Let them know it’s okay to let go when they’re ready, and assure them they’ll always be in your heart.

5. Live Together in Those Last Days

Make the most of your remaining time together. This is something I regret with Lucky—I was recovering from C-section surgery and couldn’t be with him constantly during his final days. If possible, arrange to spend as much time with your dog as you can. Don’t focus solely on their passing, but on celebrating the bond you share.

6. Create a Family Bucket List

Make a list of meaningful activities to do together before saying goodbye. Some ideas include:

• Visiting favorite places
• Giving special treats or favorite foods
• Surrounding them with favorite toys
• Taking photos or looking at old pictures together
• Creating a relaxing atmosphere with music or candles
• Making a paw print ornament or saving some fur as a keepsake

7. Plan Ahead with Rituals for Comfort

Though difficult to discuss, it’s important to decide on final arrangements beforehand. Consider whether you prefer burial or cremation. For Lucky, I chose aquamation—a gentler alternative using water instead of fire. We had a final viewing before the process, which gave us closure.

Planning ahead makes things easier when the time comes, even if someone else handles the arrangements for you.

8. Learn About Euthanasia and Hospice Options

Sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for our suffering pets is to help them pass peacefully. Ask your vet about home visits for euthanasia or hospice care that allows your dog to pass naturally while remaining pain-free. Remember that ending your dog’s suffering can be your final act of love.

9. Explain to Younger Children Carefully

If you have young children who’ve grown close to your dog, explain the situation honestly but in age-appropriate ways. Children’s books about pet loss can help them understand. Make it clear that death is a natural part of life and not anyone’s fault.

Be careful about your wording—saying the dog will “be put to sleep” might make children afraid of sleeping themselves, while saying the dog “went away” might make them think the pet will return.

10. Involve Older Children in the Process

Older children can better understand illness and death. Allow them to participate by talking to the vet, asking questions, and being involved in decisions. While painful, learning to handle grief is an important life lesson.

11. Allow Yourself to Experience Grief

Grief begins when you first learn of your dog’s diagnosis, not just after they pass. You may experience shock, denial, guilt, anger, and depression—all of which are natural reactions. When Lucky passed, I found that allowing myself to cry helped me process my emotions. Don’t bottle up your feelings; let them flow naturally.

12. Reach Out for Support

You don’t have to face this alone. Talk to your veterinarian about local support groups or hotlines. Share your feelings with understanding friends and family members. Online communities like pet forums can connect you with others who’ve experienced similar loss.

As the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) notes, “You need the love and support of others because you never ‘get over’ grief. Talking or being with other pet owners who have experienced the death of a pet can be one important way to meet this need.”

13. Accept That Some People Won’t Understand

Not everyone understands the deep bond between humans and dogs. Some might dismiss your grief with comments like “it’s just a dog.” Don’t let others make you feel ashamed of your emotions. Your grief is valid and deserves respect.

14. Remember That Love Lives On

As the AVMA suggests, “Continue your relationship through memories—your memories allow your pets to live on in you.” The pain will become less sharp over time, but it’s perfectly okay to continue missing your dog. Focus on happy memories from when your dog was healthy and joyful.

15. Find Personal Ways to Cope

Everyone processes grief differently. Some helpful coping strategies include:

• Talking to your departed dog (it’s not silly if it helps)
• Creating a special place for photos or mementos
• Making or buying a memorial marker
• Finding ways to honor your dog’s memory during holidays and special occasions
• Discussing feelings with family or professionals

The Journey Through Grief

According to the AVMA, grief doesn’t follow a prescribed pattern or series of stages. Your journey will be unique to you. When actively mourning, remember to:

• Acknowledge the reality – It takes time to adjust to life without your beloved pet
• Move toward the pain – Experiencing your emotions is difficult but important
• Continue your relationship through memories – Photos, tributes, or letters can help
• Adjust your self-identity – Part of your identity may come from being a pet owner
• Search for meaning – It’s natural to question the purpose of pets in your life
• Accept support – You need the love and support of others during this time

Things to Remember During Your Grief

The Deafening Silence

After your dog passes, the silence in your home may seem overwhelming. Your pet occupied physical space, but their presence was felt more with your senses. This “presence of the absence” can be piercing. Being aware of this reality can help prepare you for the emotions that follow.

Your Special Bond

The relationship you shared with your dog is unique and special. As the AVMA notes, “Your grief is normal, and the relationship you shared with your special friend needs to be mourned.”

Grief Can’t Be Ranked

Don’t compare your grief to others who you think might be experiencing “worse” loss. Your grief is yours and deserves care and attention.

Questions of Spirituality

You may find yourself questioning beliefs about pets and an afterlife. Many people will offer opinions, but it’s important to find answers that align with your personal beliefs.

Final Thoughts

Losing a dog is one of life’s most painful experiences, but the love we share with them makes that pain worthwhile. As I continue to process losing Lucky, I find comfort in knowing he’s no longer suffering and that our bond continues through memories.

If you’re going through this difficult time, please be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to grieve, to cry, to remember, and eventually, to heal. Your beloved companion would want you to find joy again, even as you honor their memory.

The rainbow bridge poem offers comfort to many grieving pet owners with its vision of a place where our pets wait for us, healthy and happy, until we can be reunited. Whether you find comfort in this imagery or in other ways, know that the love you shared with your dog will never truly die.

Have you lost a beloved dog? What helped you cope with your grief? Sharing our stories can help us heal and provide comfort to others on this difficult journey.

To cope with losing a dog, allow yourself to grieve by acknowledging your feelings and practicing self-care, including maintaining routines and eating well. Seek support from understanding friends, family, or pet loss support groups. Memorialize your dog through rituals like a ceremony, a memory box with their belongings, or a photo album. You can also find comfort by engaging in activities you enjoy or volunteering to help other animals.

There’s no universal timeline for how long it takes to get over a pet’s death; it is a deeply personal process that can last weeks, months, or even years, with grief gradually lessening in intensity over time. Factors influencing the duration of grief include the depth of the bond with the pet, the circumstances of their death, individual emotional resilience, and the support systems available.

To help your dog pass peacefully, you should first assess their quality of life with the guidance of a veterinarian to determine if euthanasia is appropriate. Once you decide, you can help by ensuring they are in a calm, quiet environment, managing their pain and nausea with appropriate medications, and continuing familiar routines to provide comfort.